Never Cuss The Bridge That Ya Cross...

So we all have family overseas eh? Whether they got there front track or back track it doesn't matter, becuase at the end of the year we know we gon get we nice barrel or box full with 99c chocolate, a few old clothes they grow outa, couple envelope with USD$20 fuh share between the pickney dem and well you know the rest. Well seeing that America is now going through some real tough times, I'm so sorry to let you know that you ain't getting no frigging barrel fuh this year and couple years to come. We can all name a few people we know personally that left Guyana dissing it up because they knew they were going to pursure the so called "American Dream". Ahhhh.. well don't let them fool you guys, they haven't found it yet and it doesn't seem like they will for a long long time. The funny thing is, despite the fact that the economy is so ficked up right now, ya family still insisting on you to come live there. Isn't that true? What ever happened to "visit"? No! family ain't want ya come visit no more they want you come and shy root in Queens. I guess Misery loves Company ! If ya think that is bad, then what do you think about those "over night Yankees"? Oh man, I certainly know a few. Dem was dead dead Guyanese to the bone up to CBJ Airport, and the minute dem plane land JFK, they turn Yankee. That's the reality of things folks. It really cracks me up to hear some of them speak with the " overnight accent" and then they accidentally pop in the guyanese accent. Thats the kodak moment for me. And what about those that suffering from amnesia eh? Yes you know what I'm talking about. The ones that can't believe Guyana got actual roads and not mud dam, the ones that can't believe Guyana got a Mall, working cellphones, Direct TV, Internet and even the ones that may ask if Cow does still eat grass a Guyana....Is it that they are ashamed, embarrassed and feeling regretful, knowing that they had a realively stable life here and now they juggling 3-4 jobs a week over deh? It's just something we'll never know. Another thing is, dem really want ya go live there rite, but take it from me, "Come see meh and come live with meh" are 2 completely different things. "Come see meh" which means come fuh the 3 week vacation the embassy grant ya and I'll carry you all over the place, places I never been to and spend my credit card ( my life) on you. BUT "Come live with meh" means, we'll catch up sometime man, afteral you here to live so no rush to see ya. I hope you get what I'm saying and certainly you can't deny it. It's the frigging truth so accept and bless. It wouldn't be fair to leave out the ones that actually come back to Guyana when someone close passes away, or someone close passes away or did I say someone close passes away?? Yes, that's basically the number 1 reason they come back here. Unless one a we dead then they will come and Oh man, you have got to see the way they act. Every frigging body must know they come back from America. The coolie gyals, who ketch lil colour now have blonde streaks and the latest clothes. As fuh the coolie boys, them pierce dem ears, head full of spikes and its a 50/50 chance they will be wearing braces on their kock out teeth. However, Aunty will wear thick thick makeup and Uncle will bring loads of cash to spend on dem boys up the road on RUM. The funeral is suddenly a big reunion with them being the center of attention. I'm not done yet, they will treat you like ya inferior and then start talking bout things in America so hard and how they regret leaving Guyana. Now dem a plan business marriage and all kind a thing fuh settle down with ease. How dese people really think the US stupidy. Well folks, I hope that I have made some sort of sense here and reminded you that you should Never cuss the bridge that ya cross cause ya might gah fuh cross it back....

Attention Seeking Guyanese

I must admit that I am one of the persons that use the social network facebook like so many others. Being one of the hottest meeting places on the internet, millions of people log on each day whether it is to send a message to a friend, leave a photo comment, play a game or like the few thousands of GUYANESE that unfortunately use this network sign in just to " show off pon dem friends and family what they doing every second of the damn day". Yes, you know what I'm talking about. On your profile you're given the choice to place a "status", it's entirely up to you what you wanna reveal to the rest of the world. So yeah, being curious of what some people have as their status, I decided to go view a couple profiles and see whats really going on. At first, it seemed like nothing because some folks just stated that they were ill, confused, hungry, tired etc. Nevertheless, some "attention seeking Guyanese" made it clear to brag about their so called perfect lives. I'm so glad I did what I did.... Now I know that some people got knocked up over the summer, some are planning on getting pregant, some are head over heals for some bhai and some are depressed since there relationship is no more. Some of these people change their status so often just to keep us up to date with their pathetic lives. Awwww..isn't that thoughtful. NOT !

I really don't care if you are tired, bored, depressed, hungry or feeling horny. You know yourselves. If you have nothing good to say then you should say nothing at all folks. Lastly, I would like to say that since Obama was elected, some of these dotish Guyanese haven't gotten over it as yet. Some still have their screen names as " Obama my hero" "Obama for mankind" " Obama will save us" and very recently while I was in downtown GT I heard some idiot say " Obama is GOD"... Ummm don't mean to burst your bubble folks but Obama doesnt give a shit about you, he probably doesnt even know you exist. He is under so much pressure to fix the crippled economy and if he doesn't do one hell of a job, he's gonna get bowled out ! So yeah, I urge you all to calm down your anxiety and stop blighting him. Stop counting the frigging eggs before they hatch. But then again, what else can you expect from "attention seeking Guyanese"?

Accolade Award Predictions

For those of us that do not plan on wasting thousands of hard earn cash to go to the Accolade Awards, I thought it would be fun to test out my prediction skillz for the upcoming Accolade Awards. Here is the list of my predictions for the winners... Let's see if it'll come true

1. Album of the year - Michelle King (Big Red)
2. Artist of the year - Adrian Dutchin
3. Best New Artist - Celeste David
4. Entertainer of the year - Henry Rodney
5. Media Personality (Electronic) - GtVibes.com
6. Soca single of the year - Adrian Dutchin/Jumo Primo (X2) - Tic Tack
7. Song of the year - Michelle King (Big Red) - Guyanese wine
8. Best music video (producer) - Music Media ( Separate)
9. Chutney album of the year - Larki - Terry Gajraj
10. Band of the year - Mischievous Guys

Cyant Tek It No Mo !

Ok, so have you seen GT's latest commercials? Well if you haven't then you certainly should take a glance on some of the shit that's on these days. With exception to Nanda's Boutique, Lifestyles and Street Styles.. the rest of the ads are so lame and cheap. Yeah Yeah Yeah, so Christmas is in the air and we are all awaiting that string of Xmas ads with all those nice face gyals with them evening gowns posing up at Buddy's or in some rich man house. Well so far our friends at John Lewis seem to be using back their old Christmas ads once again. Guess times brown ! You will need to drop those prices Jonny boy. I must however commend the three boutiques I listed above for their standard and high quality ads they have produced. Keep up the good rep. While we are on the topic of GT television I must bring to your attention that I cyant stand that wanna be Matt Lauer on abby dese Guyana Today show ( once again Guyanese copy overseas show NBC Today). The dude picks corn wen he opens his mouth to speak even when he rass reading the headlines for the newspapers. Ahhh... for Christmas you'll need to ask Santa fuh the latest edition of Hook-On-Phonics. As fuh the coolie gyal co-hosting, I must say that she gets credit for trying but she should speak up a little more, and nah act like she frighten fuh talk. Speaking of improvements, I must also Big Up the girls on First Look News. Over the past months, they have been able to pull their acts together and somewhat improve that show. They speak relatively well and their show is well organised, despite for the fact that it still looks a bit cheap. You should seriously change the background of the studio. Throw some colour on it. We cannot forget to speak about the idiots that call into those breakfast shows in the morning. So dis morning Mr. Seegolyn on his Daybruck show was having a "children quizz" seeing that its Tourism month. He clearly seh he want lil pickey fuh call and answer the question yet some UG ass called in, followed by couple other dotish individuals. I also cyant understand why some people call into these shows to send out freaking Good Morning greetings to dem family. Why the rass they cyant pik up de damn phone and call them personally. But no, the entire Guyana must know that they wake up, mussy int brush dem teeth and sending good morning greetings. Is nothing these people int got to do. Oh lowdy, how can I fuhget about DJ Stress-me-out. He is once again promoting another event, this time however is NOT the usual " final party at Buddy's poolside before the official handing over" but rather some Boat party from Parika to Fort Island. Hopefully no drunk coolie falls off. Additionally, GRRC is once again having their "final" book sale...Aaaahhhh no comment.

Accolade Cud Keep Dem Tickets

TICKETS for the highly anticipated Accolade - The Music Awards of Guyana are now available to the public whose anxiety peaks over Guyana’s biggest so- called celebrity event.

Interest in ticket sales is so high that its release will definitely create a rush by thousands of Guyanese who look forward to an evening of memorable happenings, according to the organisers. Let's see whats gonna happen when dem see dem prices...ow lowdy !
Tickets are initially available at the National Cultural Centre in categories of Platinum, Gold and Silver which are $10,000, $8,000 and $6,000 dollars respectively. What the Furk???? Are you kidding me? Who de rass paying the in these hard ass times. Ladies, if you planned on going then you can kross that off your calendar.
Accolade Awards is a high-energy event providing celebrity experiences from its red carpet entrance to on-stage nerve-wrecking performances by hotshots on musical pathways. Must I remind you of what the so called premiere of Rainbow Rani was like...Uhhhh same promises of red carpet and the full works and it was such a flop. More like an embarrassment.
Those who purchase their tickets before November 15 stands to benefit from the best deals as they have a chance to win sassy Designer Outfits, Makeovers, Additional Tickets for free and Red Carpet Moments. Oh Lowdy!!!! look at you, oh nooooooo... aren't you lucky? Uhhhh its not gonna be Luis vuitton so don't get your hopes up. Makeovers??? Are they trying to tell you you look ugly that nite wen u dress up 99?? I wonder what the red carpet moment is gonna be like... Maybe if you're lucky you'll get caught on the camera.. GEE maybe thats it
“Imagine you there is real only if you have that ticket that gets you in the mingle with the who’s who all night long,” the organizers said in a statement..... That is soooooo cliche.
“Accolade Awards is the next best show about to take place and you need to ensure you are there as history unfolds,” the statement added. Once again, cliche cliche cliche.. haven't we heard that line before..Anyways, if you do happen to go to "That" event, let us know how it went.. :-)

Designer You Oughta Know: D’Nàtálie Smith

Guyana Lime is once again proud to feature another successful Guyanese fashion Designer. D’Nàtálie Smith is one of the most prosperous business women in Guyana having founded several thriving companies before taking up the mantle as a fashion designer. She ran an Etiquette consultancy firm and worked with local corporations and top city schools teaching etiquette. In 1998, she co-founded a Real Estate Brokerage company with her mother and to this day it’s a successful partnership which she is still very much at the helm.
D’Nàtálie expressed her natural talent for fashion at an early age when she designed her casual and evening pieces for a local pageant at the age of fourteen. At fifteen, with the help of a dress maker she wore her own party outfits and by the following year she was able to plan her entire summer wardrobe. At seventeen, D’Nàtálie designed and created her first apparel, a two piece skirt suit in black and pink polka and a dress in matching material. She certainly did not stop there. D’Nàtálie continued designing and making clothes for family members and herself, sometimes with the help of local dressmakers. In 2004, her formal entry into the world of fashion captured with judges’ nods for the best designed gown and best designer in the locally produced Talented Teen Pageant.
In August 2004, D’Nàtálie made a bigger name for herself with the launch of her bridal collection whose focal point was the gowns of colour, none of which were plain white. They ran a kaleidoscope of colours hence the name Kaleidoscope Bridals.
Smith has since worked with Miss Guyana Universe 2005, creating a spectacular gown for Nadia Shung, Umobile Telecommunications Network Marketing campaign “Talk like U Do” and Courts Guyana Incorporated Bridal Registry Brochures. Her designs have been featured in the Guyana Entertainment Magazine and all the local print media and televisions stations. Her vast knowledge of various cultures and lifestyles has influenced her designs and enabled her to keep ahead of trends. Her unique designs cater to women in general, a fact attested by the designer that by using different body types she creates the true representation of the very essence of womanhood.

In 2006, Kaleidoscope Fashions changed to D’XàBê representing the initials of her two sons, Xavier and Benicio. She describes this new line as "Bridal gowns of an Eastern influence but with a Western flavour,". More so, this line also includes jeans wear, tops, evening gowns and a series of footwear. Additionally, she has already designed the wedding gowns which include such intricacies as sequins, beaded work and hand-knitting. Smith has also contracted a fabric manufacturing firm in Pakistan which will actually be custom-making the fabric to suit her taste and specifications.
In a very candid interview with Guyana Lime, D’Nàtálie says her inspiration may come from anything at any given moment, a song, a play, history, a colour, or even fads. Her simple joy is found spending time with her sons. She describes herself as being arrogant, self centered and obsessive added with emotional, loyal and witty. “I am arrogant because I know I possess a keen intelligence and I am self centered because of my humanity. My world revolves around me and the people in my orbit because I love and truly care for them” says Smith.
She also conveyed that fashion designing was always been a childhood dream that she had to put aside for it seemed like a frivolous thing “something that does not entail too much intellect”, says Smith. Nevertheless, she had poise, spoke well and was intelligent, so she self taught a few things in order to be where she wanted to be. D’Nàtálie also revealed that if she could do anything else other than fashion, she would certainly have to enter the food business. “ I believe it's another way to exercise creativity, I cook very well and like to do it with panache” says Smith. When asked to comment on her philosophy of the art of fashion, D’Nàtálie added that “Fashion is a mirror of our times; it reflects our culture at any given point. Historically, clothing revealed many details about the lifestyles of people from various past cultures…As designers, knowledge of where fashion has come from helps us to understand how it is progressing in our own time and to anticipate where it may lead in the future and its certainty to evolve. Historical clothing can provide a wealth of inspiration and ideas which can be adapted to our modern lifestyle. However care should be given not to use them too literally in case they look like actual costumes rather than new trends inspired by the past.”
When questioned about her strengths and weaknesses as a local fashion designer, D’Nàtálie admitted that her main strength was her ability to be creative while her weakness was the lack of finances to move to the next level through marketing and mass production. With confidence and pride, D’Nàtálie sees herself owning a few franchise stores around the world in the next five years from now. “When you are dreaming you go all the way no limitations”, says Smith.

Guyana Lime wishes to thank D’Nàtálie Smith for her participation in this interview and supports her in all of her future endeavours.

Caribbean Loses Alton Ellis and Byron Lee

During the last few weeks, Jamaica, the Caribbean and the world have lost two giants in music.
Alton Ellis, the "Godfather of Rocksteady", defined an era, when little was known about Jamaican music outside the ghettos of Trench Town. Ellis released over 35 albums and bridged the transition from Ska to Rocksteady to Reggae (Raygay); in a career that spanned 50+ years. He scored major hits with such memorable tracks as "Girl I've Got a Date", "Cry Tough" and "Get Ready - Rock Steady", which was the first song to refer to the name of the newer genre. His music has been reworked by King Yellowman, Biggie, Tupac, KRS1 and most recently Sean Paul who scored a major hit with the rework of Ellis' "I'm Still In Love With You" from his multi-platinum album "Dutty Rock". A true pioneer, Ellis toured regularly until his death in London in October 2008.Byron Lee will probably be remembered best, as the leader of the Dragonaires and their Calypso hits of the last 30 years, but he is also an important part of the machinery that shaped and developed Jamaican music to what it is today. Byron Lee started out playing Ska in the late 1950's and was credited with creating the 1st touring showcase of Jamaican talent, that took little known acts throughout North America and the Caribbean. He has been credited with bringing the music of "downtown" into the homes of "uptown" Jamaica. Lee eventually bought WIRL records from early music pioneer Edward Seaga, and formed Dynamic Sounds which, at the time, became the most well equipped recording studio in the Caribbean, recording such legends at The Rolling Stones and Paul Simon.After playing at Carnival regularly during the 1970sand 1980s, Byron Lee brought Trinidad carnival to Jamaica in 1990. With the support of Carnival artists Jamaica Carnival was a huge success bringing together "uptown" and "downtown" culture in one massive street party of 500,000 people. With Jamaica Carnival, Byron Lee effectively did for the Eastern Caribbean what he had done for Jamaica some years before - packaging and showcasing their culture on a large scale.

Kross Kolor Releases Pre- Mash 2009 Album

Kross Kolor Records has launched yet another album in their annual series of soca releases for Mashramani.The latest release is 'Wine Till Yuh Drop 4' on the Teasam Rhythm.This album features artistes like of Reigning Road March Queen Big Red; the dynamic duo X2; B52, the artiste formerly known as Lilman; Vanilla; Super Marky; 24K; Rajesh Dubraj; Jumo; Adrian Dutchin; Bonesman; and Sparky. For the first time in the production's history, chutney also has been included.The video release for the album was launched last weekend on ten television channels simultaneously and the album will be in stores on November 14. It is already available on www.krosskolor. com for downloading.The annual release of Mash music albums produced by Guyanese Music Producer Burchmore Simon started in 2004 with 'Sarsperilla Wine Till Yuh Drop 1', which spawned hits like 'Tick tack' and 'Wine and touch yuh toes'. In 2005, there was 'Koction - Wine Till Yuh Drop 2', which produced the hits 'Guyanese wine', 'Push it back', 'Soca music', 'Wine baby Wine', and 'My Caribbean'.In 2006, the 'Kapadulla Wine Till Yuh Drop 3' album was released and the hits from that included 'Coco stick', 'Kochore', 'Suga Cane' and 'Injection'.