WEIRD THINGS...

COULD THIS BE THE FUTURE OF COMPUTERS?

For those of you who ever wondered what future computers will be like, I think that I might have found what they will be like. If this is what future computers are like, then I think that we are all going to become obese.

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM !

I do not drink alcohol so I do not understand why people drink to get pissed only to feel bad the next day. Just imagine how these people feel, man they must have a drink problem. Also how do they manage to get to be just before they pass out?

HOW TO PUNISH PEDOPHILES

If you ever wanted to know what the best solution for dealing with Pedophiles was, then I think that this picture will explain all. I bet people will be queuing up to take part in the punishment.

BILL CLINT HAS SOMETHING TO SAY !

So Bill Clinton always has a lot to say to the people of America, but what does he really want to say to us. Well I think that this picture says it all.

Prince Charles can’t keep hands to himself: he likes breasts

When you think of the royal family, you think of stuffy people who always get what they want. Well looking at this picture of Prince Charles, I think that he might get a slap round the face if he tried to get what he wants. Does this picture look like he was to touch her breasts?

Waiting Room Sofa: do you feel like a dick

When you have to go and visit your doctor, dentist or even the hospital you always have to sit in the waiting room. Sometimes you have to sit on hard chairs that are uncomfortable, but just sometimes you get to sit on a nice sofa. Well could you imagine how much of a dick you would look sitting on this one, the sofa is in the shape of a dick; it even has testicles at the end.

Purchase "Hoes" from a supermarket

Some men are a little desperate and I bet the moment that they see this supermarket selling hoes their eyes lit up. Imagine their disappointment when they went into the store only to find the shelves full of shoes instead.

HAVE YOUR SAY !

Blog Action Day is an annual nonprofit event that aims to unite the world’s bloggers, podcasters and videocasters, to post about the same issue on the same day. Our aim is to raise awareness and trigger a global discussion. Global issues like poverty are extremely complex. There is no simple, clear answer. By asking thousands of different people to give their viewpoints and opinions, Blog Action Day creates an extraordinary lens through which to view these issues. Each blogger brings their own perspective and ideas. Each blogger posts relating to their own blog topic. And each blogger engages their audience differently.First and last, the purpose of Blog Action Day is to create a discussion. We ask bloggers to take a single day out of their schedule and focus it on an important issue.By doing so on the same day, the blogging community effectively changes the conversation on the web and focuses audiences around the globe on that issue.Out of this discussion naturally flow actions, advice, ideas, plans, and empowerment. In 2007 on the theme of the Environment, we saw bloggers running environmental experiments, detailing innovative ideas on creating sustainable practices and focusing audience’s attentions on organizations and companies promoting green agendas. In 2008 we aim to again focus the blogging community’s energies and passions, this time on the mammoth issue of global poverty.In 2008, the Blog Action Day theme is Poverty. Bloggers are free to interpret this as they see fit. We invite bloggers to examine poverty from their own blog topics and perspectives, to look at it from the macro and micro, as a global condition and a local issue, and to bring their own ideas, views and opinions on the subject.

In recognition of BLOG ACTION DAY 2008, GUYANA LIME wishes to come on board and help to spread the awareness of the 2008 theme POVERTY. With such involvement, Guyana Lime wishes to invite all its visitors to actively participate in all discussions and posts from now until October 15th 2008. As such, please feel free to post your responses to the following questions below :

1. Do you believe that Poverty undermines the ability to achieve sustainable development?

2. What are the root causes of Poverty?

3. How can we put a stop to Poverty?

Air quality test team finds asbestos at UG, forced to flee

A team began testing the air quality at the University of Guyana (UG) Turkeyen Campus on Friday, after the Education Ministry agreed to have that exercise undertaken, but the testers fled soon after when they found asbestos material on the ground.
Last Friday, a team headed by the contractor of the A&E Consultancy visited the campus to test the air. The team started work but quickly left the campus after members observed that there was asbestos material on the ground. The consultancy company was hired by the ministry following repeated requests by the UG Asbestos Technical Committee.
The ministry agreed to test air quality on the Turkeyen campus, but it is now refusing to have the floors of the affected buildings lacquered, which sources say is necessary to hold down unseen fibres. Sources yesterday told Stabroek News that advisors to Minister of Education, Shaik Baksh, have staunchly opposed the lacquering of the floors. They are only in favour of painting of the walls, which has already begun. “But it is important that the floor be lacquered so as any asbestos fibre that maybe present will be paste down and not affect anyone,” a source said yesterday.
Reports are that the company has the equipment to conduct the test and it was the same company that was used to test the air at asbestos affected schools. After the air testing team left the campus, a ministry team visited to remove the asbestos material on the ground.
Yesterday they commenced painting the walls, but the air testing team has no intention of returning until the floors are lacquered as its members do not want to expose themselves to any danger.
Stabroek News understands that the further delay may affect the commencement of the new academic year and students and staff members are becoming worried.
Earlier this year Deputy Registrar of UG, Vincent Alexander, had announced that the $200 million exercise was expected to last two months and it would see asbestos removed from some 15 buildings at the Turkeyen Campus. The entire campus was shut down. The administrative staff was moved to the Dennis Irving dormitory at Goedverwagting and summer classes were held at the Tutorial High School. Library services are meanwhile being facilitated at the university’s office in Pere Street, Kitty.
The asbestos problem was highlighted in the news in the middle of last year following protests from staff members of the Faculty of Social Sciences. Hector Edwards, Head of Business and Management Studies, told this newspaper at the time that he and staff members were not prepared to continue working in their building as they were exposed to the asbestos.
He said the issue was pending for a number of years and the administration was doing nothing.After their protests, Edwards and his staff were moved to another building. The university administration then took samples and sent them to be tested at a Canadian laboratory, Resource Environmental Associates (REA), for confirmation last year.

LITTLE JOHNNY DIRTY JOKES !

Sex With The Teacher

One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was. He replies, "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!" Immediately she was angry. She said, "just wait 'till your dad gets home, he's going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!" So the boy goes to his room and finally his dad is home and comes up to the room. The boy tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy."Great job son! How old are you 12? 13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?" So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son. Then he says, "well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?" The boy answers, " No, that's okay Dad, My ass is still sore!"

I Like The Way You're Thinking

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?""None.",replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking." Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?""Well," said the teacher nevously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?""No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."

I'll Tell My Daddy !

"Class dismissed!" the teacher yelled but little Johnny doesn't go.He walks to the teachers desk and says, "Teacher can i go home with you?"The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." So the teacher says, "Okay."They get to the teachers house and she says, "Well i'm going to take a quick shower, you sit right here.""Can i take a shower with you?" he asks.The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." So the teacher says, "Well okay, I guess." So their in the shower and little Johnny says, "Can i turn off the lights?"The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." So the teacher says, "Okay."So the lights are off and little Johnny says, "Can i stick my finger in your belly button?"The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." "Well okay." says the teacher, "JOHNNY!, that's not my belly-button!""Yeah? and that's not my finger eather!"

Bags And Bitches
Little Johnny and his father were walking down the street one day, and two ladies bumped into one another in front of them. The one lady looked at the other and slapped her across the face. "You bitch," yelled the one lady.Stunned, the lady that was slapped yelled out, "You bag." Little Johnny, never heard those words before, turns to his dad. "Dad, what are bags and bitches?""Oh, that's just another name for women," replied his dad."Oh, okay," said Johnny. The two make it home and Little Johnny follows his dad up to the washroom to watch his daddy shave. While shaving, Little Johnny's dad cuts himself. "Oh shit," he said."Daddy, what's shit?" asked Little Johnny."Oh, that's just another name for shaving your self," replied his father.Bored, Little Johnny wanders downstairs to find his mother cooking a turkey. As his mother reached into the oven, she burnt her hand. "Fuck!" she yells. "Mom, what's fuck?" questionned Johnny."That's just another word for cooking the turkey.""Oh, I get it," said Johnny. All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" yells Johnny as he runs to the door. He then opened the door to find a group of old ladies standing outside."Hello young man. Are you parents home?" asked the front lady."Hello bags and bitches. My dad's upstairs shitting himself and my mom's downstairs fucking the turkey."

What A Deal

Little Johnny was talking a walk down the street when he found something on the road. He was not sure what it was and was playing with it when this man came running towards him out of breath."Hey kid that is mine. Can I have it back please?" the man saidLittle Johnny said, "Well i found it first." The man was getting mad becuse it was a condom and he needed it, then he remembers he has a loney in his pocket and says, "hey little boy i will give you this loney if i can have that.. er.. donnut."Little Johnny is pleased with the deal and the next thing you know he's back home with a really big smile on his face.Little johnny's mom noticed this and said, "Why are you so happy then?"Little Johnny replied, "Because this man on the street gave me this loney for this donnut I had, but what he doesn't know is I licked all the jelly out first."

RUDE THINGS TO SAY !

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Are your parents siblings?
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!
He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
I bet your mother has a loud bark!
I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.
If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.
Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.
You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?
Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.
People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.
I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.
When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.
I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.
I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.
I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.
I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

JOKES !

MAKING BABIES

Dad came home one day in an exceptionally horny mood and took his wife upstairs for sex. Just when they were really getting into it, their young son entered the room and started to cry. "What's wrong, son?" the father asked. "Why are you crying?" "You're hurting my mommy," the little boy replied. "No, no," the father reassured. "I'm not hurting her. We are making babies." This seemed to calm the boy, and when he left the room the couple went back to their business. The next day the father came home from work and found his son on the steps, crying. "What's the matter NOW?" asked Dad. "It's those babies you were making with Mommy yesterday," the boy answered. "The mailman is upstairs eating them!"

THE PENIS TATOO

A guy gets home late one night and his wife says: "Where have you been?""I was out getting a tattoo.""A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?""I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis.""What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?""Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow. number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money. And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucksanytime you want!"

How to be Offensive at Weddings

1. Show up with a baby and claim he belongs to the newlyweds.
2. Cover yourself with glue to improve your chances of catching the bouquet.
3. Offer to show people pictures of the bride having sex with a dog.
4. Tell people that you knew the bride before the sex change operation.
5. Tell the bride that the only reason you can look at her is that you used to be a proctologist.
6. Instead of a standard gift, give the newlyweds a gift certificate for a drug rehab. clinic.
7. As you move down the receiving line, spit on each person.
8. Ask the bride's mother to give you a hand job.
9. Give the bride some Bianca, and tell her it kills the taste of sperm.
10. Propose a toast to the bride's nose job.
11. Steal the cards from the wedding gifts so no one can tell who they came from.
12. Walk up to various guests and demand to see their invitations.
13. After the bride throws her garter, start people chanting, "Throw your bra, throw your bra..."
14. Tell everyone that the groom had to be given Quaaludes to keep him from backing out.
15. Tell the rabbi that there's no money to pay him, and ask if he'll settle for stupping the bride.
16. Assure the bride's mother that the groom is "hung like a horse."
17. Return a bra which the bride left in your car.
18. If there's a hunchback at a Jewish wedding tell hin that he has to wear one yarmulke on his head and another on his hump.
19. When the bride is coming down the aisle, push the organist out of the way and start playing, "The Lady is a Tramp."