More Guyanese Jokes.......

Krassing De Barder:

A California Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the Guyanese driver that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won US$5,000 in the State safety competition."So, what are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I gwan get a driver licence," he answered with pride and jubilation. "Oh, don't listen to he, na." yelled the Trinidadian woman in the passenger's seat. "He always a smart ass when he drunk." This commotion woke up the Barbadian guy in the back seat. He took one look at the cop and moaned, "Oh shit-rass, I knew we ain' gon' get farin no teifin car." At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a Jamaican voice yelled out, "Hey! I man mek it krass de barda yet?!"

Only A Guyanese:

A Guyanese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Guyana on a vacation for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Guyanese man hands over the keys to a new brand BMW 740i. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Guyanese produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Guyanese for using a $80,000 BMW as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the BMW into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Guyanese man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a successful business man. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Guyanese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Balgobin searches for Jesus:

Balgobin who is always drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the Corentyne river, performed by some white man pastor, who came to Guyana on a "crusade". Balgobin proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?" Balgobin looks back and says, "Yes sir , meh ready fa find am." The minister then dunks him under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked. "Nooo!" said the drunk. The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?" "Noooo, meh did not, Mista Pasta." The preacher in disgust holds Balgobin under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?" Balgobin wipes his eyes and says to the preacher... "Yuh sure dis is where he fall in?"