Sex With The Teacher
One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was. He replies, "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!" Immediately she was angry. She said, "just wait 'till your dad gets home, he's going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!" So the boy goes to his room and finally his dad is home and comes up to the room. The boy tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy."Great job son! How old are you 12? 13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?" So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son. Then he says, "well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?" The boy answers, " No, that's okay Dad, My ass is still sore!"
I Like The Way You're Thinking
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?""None.",replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking." Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?""Well," said the teacher nevously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?""No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."
I'll Tell My Daddy !
"Class dismissed!" the teacher yelled but little Johnny doesn't go.He walks to the teachers desk and says, "Teacher can i go home with you?"The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." So the teacher says, "Okay."They get to the teachers house and she says, "Well i'm going to take a quick shower, you sit right here.""Can i take a shower with you?" he asks.The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." So the teacher says, "Well okay, I guess." So their in the shower and little Johnny says, "Can i turn off the lights?"The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." So the teacher says, "Okay."So the lights are off and little Johnny says, "Can i stick my finger in your belly button?"The teacher says "No!"Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." "Well okay." says the teacher, "JOHNNY!, that's not my belly-button!""Yeah? and that's not my finger eather!"
Bags And Bitches
Little Johnny and his father were walking down the street one day, and two ladies bumped into one another in front of them. The one lady looked at the other and slapped her across the face. "You bitch," yelled the one lady.Stunned, the lady that was slapped yelled out, "You bag." Little Johnny, never heard those words before, turns to his dad. "Dad, what are bags and bitches?""Oh, that's just another name for women," replied his dad."Oh, okay," said Johnny. The two make it home and Little Johnny follows his dad up to the washroom to watch his daddy shave. While shaving, Little Johnny's dad cuts himself. "Oh shit," he said."Daddy, what's shit?" asked Little Johnny."Oh, that's just another name for shaving your self," replied his father.Bored, Little Johnny wanders downstairs to find his mother cooking a turkey. As his mother reached into the oven, she burnt her hand. "Fuck!" she yells. "Mom, what's fuck?" questionned Johnny."That's just another word for cooking the turkey.""Oh, I get it," said Johnny. All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" yells Johnny as he runs to the door. He then opened the door to find a group of old ladies standing outside."Hello young man. Are you parents home?" asked the front lady."Hello bags and bitches. My dad's upstairs shitting himself and my mom's downstairs fucking the turkey."
What A Deal
Little Johnny was talking a walk down the street when he found something on the road. He was not sure what it was and was playing with it when this man came running towards him out of breath."Hey kid that is mine. Can I have it back please?" the man saidLittle Johnny said, "Well i found it first." The man was getting mad becuse it was a condom and he needed it, then he remembers he has a loney in his pocket and says, "hey little boy i will give you this loney if i can have that.. er.. donnut."Little Johnny is pleased with the deal and the next thing you know he's back home with a really big smile on his face.Little johnny's mom noticed this and said, "Why are you so happy then?"Little Johnny replied, "Because this man on the street gave me this loney for this donnut I had, but what he doesn't know is I licked all the jelly out first."
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